I don’t think you should be seeking meaningful marriage advice from the Bible of all places. Back when men wrote the Bible, women were nothing more than property, or, at best, 2nd rate citizens. You might take some personal morality from the Bible, but not marriage counseling, unless you want to end up being a doormat in a patriarchal system. References :
Okay, from a non-biblical standpoint, you should try to work it out by getting him to stop what he’s doing, and if that doesn’t work, kick him to the curb. References : Logic
If your husband has no inclination to stop seeing this other woman, it needs to end for the SAKE of your children. If he has ended it, he needs to end all communication with her. If he doesn’t, you need to move on and find someone who can love you and only you. References :
No, it should not be unconditional in such a situation. Your husband is disrespecting you and your children, and he doesn’t deserve your loyalty. Life is too short to waste! Divorce him and find someone who really loves you, respects you, and treats you well, in the way every person deserves. Staying together "for the kids" will only serve to teach your sons that it is okay to cheat on their wives, and your daughters that they are not worthy of respectful relationships. Don’t do that to your children. Your husband is choosing his path, and now you have to make a choice regarding your future and the future of your kids. References :
The Scriptures do not say that marriage is unconditional. If there is adultery or abandonment then the contract of marriage has been broken. As with any contract, if it is broken you are no longer bound by it.
To suffer through a marriage where a spouse has betrayed you, and you have no interest in remaining, is foolishness….but if you wish to hold yourself to a contract that the other does not respect and hold too….that is your right. References :
Humans can aspire to God’s love, but we are pretty much going to fail at it, because we are not God. Humans thrive on reciprocal love (which, I think God enjoys, as well). Marriage thrives on reciprocal love.
You make this call, not anyone else. But I would be concerned about what I was teaching my children about marriage, personally. And I would want more, but who’s to say I’m right–I’m just human.
In the Bible, God allows divorce in cases of adultery. But He doesn’t require it. References : Ironically, I am getting the td’s and I am the divorce attorney. It is interesting to me the many people who fail to see the practical considerations involved here.
Oh good grief, Rivky, I get women in this situation much better than you are suggesting (including attorney’s fees) and I leave the husband in penury. Why in the world should the loser get to have the treasures of the marriage??
No, he’s disgusting. He’s messing around behind your back and can give you something. Get a lawyer, a blood test and exam to see if your okay. References :
If marriage were unconditional there would be no need to take vows before witnesses. Vows which he has broken and continues to break. Kick his cheating butt out of the house and sue him for divorce, child support and alimony. References :
The Bible doesn’t tell you to be a fool. It does say that when the man / spouse is not following God’s word, you should seperate from him.
Get a divorce. You’ll win: you’ll get child support & alimony, and you & your kids will be free from the pain your spouse is inflicting. References : jello
I think that if you want to save your marriage both of you need to take it seriously and have to want to change things. It is best to speak with a marriage counselor, but if your husband is still communicating with his mistress and still cheating on you then he does not deserve to have you try to fix it while he still has his "fun." It will be best for YOU to forgive him at some time because sometimes forgiveness helps us help ourselves recover from things. I hope you can reconcile, but if you tell him everything is all right and let this continue you are just reinforcing that his behavior is acceptable and it is definitely not. References :
According to the Word of God, YOU have the right to put him aside, but you also, as a Child of God, have the right to stand on His word and trust it will work out as God sees fit … You are at a cross roads right now, you have to make the choice… No one can do it for you… I have walked where you are walking and we made it through, was NOT an easy path, but we did it.. Married 33 years now…. If you need more help, I am willing, but ONLY if God sees fit for me to do so… Pray and see what He says….. go in peace… God bless References :
The problem here is that women who divorce are more than not, plunged into poverty while ending up being the sole caregiver AND the sole breadwinner for the children.
Why does this happen?
Because men get to walk. They get to toss a few dollars at the woman (if she is that lucky even) and go on about their lives doing exactly as they please while the woman and kids end up mired in poverty and hardship.
The way to put a stop to this is to force the men to take the children and raise them.
So I would advise you to divorce your husband, give him custody and make HIM raise the children. Make the men responsible for it! Make THEM give up the next 18 years of their lives, their money, their time to take care of these kids he has made.
It’s about time.
And then you go on about your life, find a man who is good enough for you this time if you want to, and live your life in freedom and happiness rather than poverty and hardship which is what WILL happen to you unless you make him take the kids. References :
I’m an atheist, but I’ll speak to your Corinthians passage: In this case, there is no love on the part of your husband. Do his actions reflect the words of that passage?
If you have kids, you should consider what sort of example you’re setting for them. Do you want them to think that it’s okay for a man to behave the way their father is behaving? If they don’t already know, they will find out sooner or later. References :
Sorry to say, but it sounds like he is not going to stop or can’t stop himself. Now ask yourself these questions as they relate to marriage.
Is he with you spiritually?
Is he with you emotionally?
Is he with you socially?
Is he with you financially?
Is he with you intimately?
If you have answered all of these no, then you need to take a stand and you know what to do. No one can answer for you dearheart.
God does not want you to be miserable. He didn’t watch His son die on the cross for someone to treat you like dirt. He loves you and He wants you to be happy. Talk to Him and ask Him for His guidance. Getting a divorce is not the unpardonable sin. God divorced jerusalem. As much as He loves you He wants to be loved.
I shared your question with my wife and do you know what her answer was, "Let that be you, and you would have been out as soon as I found out with no second chance, we are to old for that, (both 48) If you don’t have maturity, I can’t raise you into it. I ain’t putting up with no bull from no man, and if you want something else, here, take everything you want from here and leave me alone. If I let you treat me any kind of way, you will continue to do it and you will get outta here today, not tomorrow." She’s a strong woman who means business and that is why I love her so.
This man should treasure you, the scriptures say it is a good thing for a man to take a wife.
It sounds like you are a good wife, a loving wife who wants her marriage to work. Now what can you do?
What does the other woman do? she talks to him, she compliments him, she listens to his stupid jokes, she nurtures and feeds his ego, she is eye candy for him. she constantly seduces him. this is what you must do and there is no shame in it, He is your husband.
Take your man back and talk to him. Get it all out in the open, forgive it and forget it. Have fun with him share things ask him about his day. cater to him like you used to and that should help, if not, ask yourself the questions above and make a decision. References :
A marriage is between two adults–you can’t save a marriage for the sake of the kids. It’s not good for kids to live in a home where their parents resent each other. References : Married 42 years to the same person.
give him the ultimatum to cut off the affair or face the consequences.
before you take drastic action, be realistic, make sure all your finances are in order, save every receipt, and find out what assets he has.
you may need all this if things turn to custard References :
it is my faith(I am Christian) that you have the right, given by God to divorce your husband…however you also have the right to try to make it work…look within yourself to determine what you truly desire in your marriage and work toward that…as to some of your other answers, your children shouldn’t know these things are going on…therefore it shouldn’t teach them that it is ok or that your ok with it…
always nosnod References :
I don’t think you should be seeking meaningful marriage advice from the Bible of all places. Back when men wrote the Bible, women were nothing more than property, or, at best, 2nd rate citizens. You might take some personal morality from the Bible, but not marriage counseling, unless you want to end up being a doormat in a patriarchal system.
References :
Okay, from a non-biblical standpoint, you should try to work it out by getting him to stop what he’s doing, and if that doesn’t work, kick him to the curb.
References :
Logic
If your husband has no inclination to stop seeing this other woman, it needs to end for the SAKE of your children. If he has ended it, he needs to end all communication with her. If he doesn’t, you need to move on and find someone who can love you and only you.
References :
No, it should not be unconditional in such a situation. Your husband is disrespecting you and your children, and he doesn’t deserve your loyalty. Life is too short to waste! Divorce him and find someone who really loves you, respects you, and treats you well, in the way every person deserves. Staying together "for the kids" will only serve to teach your sons that it is okay to cheat on their wives, and your daughters that they are not worthy of respectful relationships. Don’t do that to your children. Your husband is choosing his path, and now you have to make a choice regarding your future and the future of your kids.
References :
He clearly doesn’t care about the relationship. Leave him, that’s the best thing to do, even with kids.
References :
The Scriptures do not say that marriage is unconditional. If there is adultery or abandonment then the contract of marriage has been broken. As with any contract, if it is broken you are no longer bound by it.
To suffer through a marriage where a spouse has betrayed you, and you have no interest in remaining, is foolishness….but if you wish to hold yourself to a contract that the other does not respect and hold too….that is your right.
References :
From any standpoint, love (Inside of a marriage, or outside) should be unconditional.
References :
Humans can aspire to God’s love, but we are pretty much going to fail at it, because we are not God. Humans thrive on reciprocal love (which, I think God enjoys, as well). Marriage thrives on reciprocal love.
You make this call, not anyone else. But I would be concerned about what I was teaching my children about marriage, personally. And I would want more, but who’s to say I’m right–I’m just human.
In the Bible, God allows divorce in cases of adultery. But He doesn’t require it.
References :
Ironically, I am getting the td’s and I am the divorce attorney. It is interesting to me the many people who fail to see the practical considerations involved here.
Oh good grief, Rivky, I get women in this situation much better than you are suggesting (including attorney’s fees) and I leave the husband in penury. Why in the world should the loser get to have the treasures of the marriage??
No, he’s disgusting. He’s messing around behind your back and can give you something. Get a lawyer, a blood test and exam to see if your okay.
References :
If marriage were unconditional there would be no need to take vows before witnesses. Vows which he has broken and continues to break. Kick his cheating butt out of the house and sue him for divorce, child support and alimony.
References :
The Bible doesn’t tell you to be a fool. It does say that when the man / spouse is not following God’s word, you should seperate from him.
Get a divorce. You’ll win: you’ll get child support & alimony, and you & your kids will be free from the pain your spouse is inflicting.
References :
jello
I think that if you want to save your marriage both of you need to take it seriously and have to want to change things. It is best to speak with a marriage counselor, but if your husband is still communicating with his mistress and still cheating on you then he does not deserve to have you try to fix it while he still has his "fun." It will be best for YOU to forgive him at some time because sometimes forgiveness helps us help ourselves recover from things. I hope you can reconcile, but if you tell him everything is all right and let this continue you are just reinforcing that his behavior is acceptable and it is definitely not.
References :
According to the Word of God, YOU have the right to put him aside, but you also, as a Child of God, have the right to stand on His word and trust it will work out as God sees fit … You are at a cross roads right now, you have to make the choice… No one can do it for you… I have walked where you are walking and we made it through, was NOT an easy path, but we did it.. Married 33 years now…. If you need more help, I am willing, but ONLY if God sees fit for me to do so… Pray and see what He says….. go in peace… God bless
References :
The problem here is that women who divorce are more than not, plunged into poverty while ending up being the sole caregiver AND the sole breadwinner for the children.
Why does this happen?
Because men get to walk. They get to toss a few dollars at the woman (if she is that lucky even) and go on about their lives doing exactly as they please while the woman and kids end up mired in poverty and hardship.
The way to put a stop to this is to force the men to take the children and raise them.
So I would advise you to divorce your husband, give him custody and make HIM raise the children. Make the men responsible for it! Make THEM give up the next 18 years of their lives, their money, their time to take care of these kids he has made.
It’s about time.
And then you go on about your life, find a man who is good enough for you this time if you want to, and live your life in freedom and happiness rather than poverty and hardship which is what WILL happen to you unless you make him take the kids.
References :
I’m an atheist, but I’ll speak to your Corinthians passage: In this case, there is no love on the part of your husband. Do his actions reflect the words of that passage?
If you have kids, you should consider what sort of example you’re setting for them. Do you want them to think that it’s okay for a man to behave the way their father is behaving? If they don’t already know, they will find out sooner or later.
References :
Sorry to say, but it sounds like he is not going to stop or can’t stop himself. Now ask yourself these questions as they relate to marriage.
Is he with you spiritually?
Is he with you emotionally?
Is he with you socially?
Is he with you financially?
Is he with you intimately?
If you have answered all of these no, then you need to take a stand and you know what to do. No one can answer for you dearheart.
God does not want you to be miserable. He didn’t watch His son die on the cross for someone to treat you like dirt. He loves you and He wants you to be happy. Talk to Him and ask Him for His guidance. Getting a divorce is not the unpardonable sin. God divorced jerusalem. As much as He loves you He wants to be loved.
I shared your question with my wife and do you know what her answer was, "Let that be you, and you would have been out as soon as I found out with no second chance, we are to old for that, (both 48) If you don’t have maturity, I can’t raise you into it. I ain’t putting up with no bull from no man, and if you want something else, here, take everything you want from here and leave me alone. If I let you treat me any kind of way, you will continue to do it and you will get outta here today, not tomorrow." She’s a strong woman who means business and that is why I love her so.
This man should treasure you, the scriptures say it is a good thing for a man to take a wife.
It sounds like you are a good wife, a loving wife who wants her marriage to work. Now what can you do?
What does the other woman do? she talks to him, she compliments him, she listens to his stupid jokes, she nurtures and feeds his ego, she is eye candy for him. she constantly seduces him. this is what you must do and there is no shame in it, He is your husband.
Take your man back and talk to him. Get it all out in the open, forgive it and forget it. Have fun with him share things ask him about his day. cater to him like you used to and that should help, if not, ask yourself the questions above and make a decision.
References :
A 2.5 year affair is not a fling. Let him go.
A marriage is between two adults–you can’t save a marriage for the sake of the kids. It’s not good for kids to live in a home where their parents resent each other.
References :
Married 42 years to the same person.
give him the ultimatum to cut off the affair or face the consequences.
before you take drastic action, be realistic, make sure all your finances are in order, save every receipt, and find out what assets he has.
you may need all this if things turn to custard
References :
it is my faith(I am Christian) that you have the right, given by God to divorce your husband…however you also have the right to try to make it work…look within yourself to determine what you truly desire in your marriage and work toward that…as to some of your other answers, your children shouldn’t know these things are going on…therefore it shouldn’t teach them that it is ok or that your ok with it…
always nosnod
References :
Yes forgive.
No, it is not unconditional; it is covenental. He broke covenant.
References :